Nightmares..

I had the worst dreams last night and I'm not sure why. Prolly cause I've been so stressed about money and other things, that's my only guess as to why I'd dream such sad dreams. The first dream was about my grandpa dying. He's the best person that I know and I admire him so much and I know that when he does really die I'll be depressed for forever. In my dream he died and I couldn't stop crying and crying, it was just horrible. I could feel myself being really upset in real life too....like when you wake up from a dream and you're crying or whatever and honestly upset. The second dream that I had last night also involved death and it made me just as sad. I got a call from someone telling me that Steve had died. I couldn't believe it and I remember hating myself because I had never told him that I loved him and how much he really meant to me, which is true in real life. I remember, from my dream, calling his cell phone and getting his answering machine(although I was expecting his mom or sister to answer) and starting to leave a message for him and then realizing that he was gone and I'd never be able to talk to him ever again or see or touch him ever again. It made me so sad and depressed and I couldn't help but feel like I had never told him how I felt and it was going to eat at me for the rest of my life. It's amazing how much dreams can effect the way you look at life and make you re-evaluate things. I don't know if I'll ever get the courage up to tell Steve how I feel....well, I did once but that was a long time ago and he prolly doesn't realize that I still have STRONG STRONG feelings for him. That's enough for now, it gets me sad just thinking about those dreams.