End of the holidays

This was the first year EVER that I had a boyfriend for Christmas and I couldn't be any happier! I didn't know how we were going to split up the time between us and family but we did a good job. There was little mishap with Dave one night, telling Nathan that if he honored me and truely cared for me and blah blah blah, that he'd be here for Christmas dinner. It was just a big fiasco and made Nathan so uncomfortable that he no longer wants to come by. But anyway.....Nathan came with me to Uncle Dennis' house Christmas Eve and then we went back to his house for our own present opening time with eachother. He treated me like a princess that night, we just cuddled and he told me how much he cared about me and loved me. He got me the 3rd Harry Potter movie, the new Disturbed CD and a $60 giftcard to Old Navy. I got him a lot of neat stuff too and the look on his face every time he opened something was just priceless and I wouldn't have missed for the world. I've never been as happy as I am when I'm with him. He makes me feel so wonderful about myself and just the way he cares about me is amazing. I've been sick the past 4 days or so and he's been great, since I've not been able to see him, trying to keep my spirits up over the phone/Text/IM. Nathan is absoluately the best guy I could ever have asked for and I wouldn't change things at all. I love him.

I'm glad that the holidays are over....well, New Years is this weekend but it's not one of the "big" holidays. Work has been so long and tiring that I just wanna jump off a cliff some days. I think the main reason that I am sick is because I've been working so much without much time off at all. In the past 3 weeks I've had all of 4 days off(one of those days because I had to call in sick). I'm just tired and want to get back to having more of a normal schedule at work, with at least two days off during a work week. I'm always guarunteed Sundays off but I need more than just ONE day, ya know!? Can't wait for the stupid shopping season to be over with! DOWN WITH RETAIL JOBS!

Well, I'm gunna head out here pretty soon and go to my favorite store(Old Navy) and then head over to Nathan's for a bit to at least cuddle for a little bit. I miss him like craaaaaaaazy! At least I got a little caught up in this blog, hehe.

Oh yeah, I added the picture that I found a month or so on the internet(can't even remember where I found it) but I thought it was sweet and it reminds me a lot of what Nathan does to/for me. He's the best!

Life is good!

Like the title says, Life is good! I have a wonderful boyfriend who cares about me so much and isn't afraid to tell me and show me how he feels. It's only been 3 weeks(today, as a matter of fact) but I already feel more love from him than I ever have from any other guy my entire relationship life. The way he holds me in his arms and kisses my forehead and tells me he misses me, even when we've been together the day prior. I have never felt like such a princess in all of my life. He said something so sweet in one of our IMs so I want to paste it here:

Nathan (10/5/2005 6:22:29 PM): the last couple of days, my feelings have really taken off for you. I always have you on my mind and it makes my day better knowing that your there for me every minute of the day. I feel like I'm the luckiest person ever now. I wouldn't trade this for anything

Him saying that really shows me that he cares and that my feelings for him are actually being reciprocated. It's a wonderful feeling and I sure as heck wouldn't trade then for the world either! I've got an awesome boyfriend, steady job and school. Things are starting to look up for me and I couldn't be happier!

Butterflies in my tummy

Well, it's happened. Yup, it's finally happened and I couldn't be happier. Wondering what I'm talking about yet? I bet you are, just admit it! hehe. Ok, ok, I have a boyfriend! Yeah, ME of all people. After being single for almost four years, I finally have a wonderful boyfriend. His name is Nathaniel William Vincent, 21 years old, 6'1" tall, blue eyes, glasses, cute smile. We met through the Yahoo personals website, he emailed me and we started talking through Y! instant messanger. Then we started talking on the phone late at night, sometimes til 3:30 in the morning and all the while feeling like I had little butterflies flapping their wings inside my stomach. He had the same feeling too and we decided that we wanted to meet up and see where it might go. So this past thursday night we met up at the Old Chicago on 120th/Colorado for dinner. He came straight from work, I came straight from Astonomy class. When he walked through the door I got a huge smile on my face, as did he, and we hugged a big hug. We sat and ordered our food and talked and then later held hands over the table for three hours at Old C's. Then we both wanted to take a walk so we did just that, we walked around the parking lots in the area and then through an apartment complex....it was just a lot of fun with his arm around me most of the time and holding hands the other times. Then towards the end of the night we sat in my car and talked and held hands and waited for eachother to make a move and kiss the other. I wanted him to so badly but I wasn't sure if I should do it or if he would kiss me first. So I waited and he finally did it and it was AWESOME! The way he touched my face with his hand as we kissed and how his lips seemed to fit perfectly with mine was an overwhelming and wonderful feeling. We stayed out til about 2:30 and I couldn't help but have a HUGE smile on my face afterwards. We talked a lot on Friday and went over to his mom/stepdad's house to watch a movie with him. We kissed quite a bit that night as well and just cuddled up to eachother. Oh yeah, it was so sweet because before his mom and stepdad left for their comdy show she asked me if I liked lotion and I, of course, said I did. She said that she had bought 4 bath and body works lotions but didn't need two of them so she offered one to me and I had Nate pick which one he liked best for me. It was just really nice that she would offer that to me and not really even know me. Nate also told me that he had told his stepdad that I was his girl and that made me feel so good inside. The night after that(saturday) was dad and mary's ten year anniversary party and Nate said that he'd go with me so we went. We had a lot of fun and he enjoyed looking at pictures of me throughout the years and it was great to share that with him. After we left there we went to his place so I could see where he was living(though he's moving back into his mom's next month). We ended up there and we laid down and cuddled and kissed for quite a few hours, it was awesome. I'll never forget that night either. I just feel so wonderful when I'm with him.....I feel more alive these past few days than I have in years. He cares about me and calls me all the time and IMs me and just shows me how much he cares. It's such an awesome feeling. He also has a 3 year old daughter named Bridgette. She's sooooo adorable and he's great with her. He's a wonderful father and knows how to care for his little girl and I think it's awesome. I'm not sure how to tell my mom that he has a little girl but I'm sure it'll be fine because it's a package deal and she's a great little girl. I can't wait to do things like the zoo and aquarium and whatnot with both Nate and Bri. I thinking about ALL the time. He's the first person(or anything) that I think about when I first wake up in the morning and he's the last when I fall asleep at night. I know that we've not been together for even a week yet but it feels like we've known eachother for years and it's awesome. I get to see him tonight, we're going to see '40-year-old Virgin' so that will hopefully be yet another wonderful night with him. I'm sure it will as they all are so far. I guess that's enough about him for now although I could go on and on and on(times infinity plus one, hehe)

Bank statements and IQ tests

So I wanted to just do a quick blurb. My wellsfargo card account is outta control and mom and Dave said they'd help so that's awesome, even though I cried my eyes out. It's just a sense of failure but it'll be ok I hope. Then I took this IQ test, hopefully the pasting of the results will work down below, we shall see. All for now!

Edit: Well, it didn't work. I got a 122 for my IQ according to the test so there's that. This is what it said:

You scored 122 Intelligence!

Aww...you're basically a genius. 132 is the IQ where Mensa accepts you.
How about giving it a try? You were the probably the kid who got all
A's in high school..or you could be like me, a brilliant slacker...too
smart for your own good. It goes both ways. You are ver gifted.

I scored higher than 59% of people my age and gender.

Why am I crying today!?

Today has been kinda weird. I woke up and got ready for work, like any other day. Went into work and it went by really fast. Seems that being a CSA makes the day just fly by cause before I knew it, it was 4pm and I was getting to go home. It's trippy how that works. But near the end of my shift I started to feel really inadequate. Basically what happened is this.....I did a cash refund but didn't have enough money in register 1 to do it so I had to take it outta the next register. I had to tell Mo and he said to just take out the money and rectify it later on(no biggie, right?). Well, Jesse comes up later and says that I always mess up and how Mo was saying that he should take my job since I 'always mess up'. I am sure they were both kidding but it just struck a nerve I guess and made me just wanna get the hell outta there. I hate feeling inadequate at Circuit City....it really gets under my skin.

Enough about work before I hurl myself off a bridge. Why is it that when you think things might be starting to look up for you(in the love department) you feel like you've gone back and started back at stage one? Like, I keep trying to help others and tell them that things'll turn around for them and to "just keep swimming" but it doesn't seem to work for me so why would other people do it too? Like with Drew, he seems into me and 'us' being a couple and whatnot but I've hardly talked to him 3 times since he's been outta colorado. I know he's busy with being in the Marines and whatnot, which I totally understand, but now it just feels like he's blowing me off completely. He went to Japan for 2 1/2 weeks and I've yet to hear from him, though he told me he'd be back this past Saturday and would gimme a call. Am I overreacting? Maybe I am, I don't know anymore. I just don't know. People keep asking me if I've takled to him and I say no, with a pouty face, but with hurricane Katrina and everything, he could be there....who knows. Just gunna see what happens.

Yep, onto the imfamous Steve topic. I really like Steve. He likes me(I didn't put really cause I don't know about really liking me or not) Anyway, I think about him a lot and want him to be here and he asked me a couple weeks ago what I would do/say if he moved to Colorado. I didn't know what to say so I said that I'd have a heartattack. Well shit, I would! I mean, that'd be the biggest shock EVER! It'd be nice, don't get me wrong, but a shocker none the less. It was sweet cause I took a nap yesterday(I'll write about why in a second) but I had on MSN for my name something about taking a nap and asking "wanna join me!?" and he IMed me and said that he wonted to join me. Then he said sleep tight and to text him when I woke up and that he'd get on MSN to talk with me. It probably didn't mean much to him but it was awesome to me. It's the small things in life that make all the difference in the world.

Wondering about that nap thing yet? hehe. Well, I went up to Greeley on Sunday night to go out with Lauren and her friend Jordan(and whoever else decided to show up and chill with us). We went to the Rio and had food and a margarita. Then headed over to Jacksons for drinks and meeting up with people. While there I had 3 Sex on the Beaches, 1 Fuzzy Navel(the drink), and 2 Kamakazi shots. THEN, we went to Jordan's apartment and some people came over and we played Kings Cup.....drank 1 Budlight(bottle) and 1 1/2 Keystone lights. Needless to say I was pretty gone yet I do remember everything that was said/done and I even remember my MSN phone convo with Steve, lol. This guy Ryan was such a cutie....wish I could see him again. Now that I've pretty much gotten a bit out, I'm gunna sleep, it's already 10:41 and I'm mad tired.

The night before

Yup, it's that time again. I titled this post "the night before" because it is the night before I start my third semester of college. I couldn't think of any other schnazzy name so that was what I came up with. Aaaaaaaaanyway..

Seems like there's a lot to post but I'm drawing a bit of a blank as to what all I wanted to put in here. Guess I'll just stick with some of the basics, seems the best idea. Main topics to write about: Work, Family and Friends. So, I'll start off with work.

Well, I've finally done it. I am not a CSA at good ol' Circuit. Basically, I've not been really happy with my position(planogram specialist) and it, apparently, has been showing. So my store manager asks me if I want to switch to beinga CSA and I didn't hesitate. I don't want to have to set signage for the holidays and bulkouts and all that anymore, especially with the pressure/stress of school....it's just too much. I could handle CSA Lead but not POG anymore. So I'll be applying for CSA Lead when those interviews come about but, for now, I'm a CSA and that is fine with me.

Family......couple things going on there. Mary had her gastric bypass surgery so I hope that her health starts getting better and that it will help her stay out of the doctors/hospitals all the time. She is doing well so far and can't wait to get back to eating a little bit more solid foods. She has been eating broth and jello for the past......well.....I don't really know but quite a while and she is sick and tired of it, which I can't blame her. I can't wait to see the weight she'll lose and hopefully look and feel better. The other thing I wanna mention is the Women of Faith conference mom and I(and women from church) went to this Friday. It was a good time and I am glad that I could go and experience it. The speakers were awesome and the music was just incredible. I'll admit, I cried a few times during the emotional moments.....I know, surprise, right? hehe. So that was a good time and just wanted to write a quick blurb.

Friends. Where to begin, eh? Well, I guess I'll start with Steve. Him and I are still talking all the time and it's great. Sometimes I get frustrated cause I don't know really how he feels about me, just that he likes me, but I know that that is ok cause he's been through a lot and needs time to himself to realize what he wants. He did bring up the quesiton of what I would do if he moved to colorado. I told him I would probably have a heart attack, lol. I didn't really know how to answer that question cause I don't want him to do something while he's in this semi-rebound stage. I know that it's not really 'normal' rebound but it is a little bit. He did tell me that he likes and and always has so I know that it's not like I'm just some chick he would pick up and kick to the curb but it's still a touchy subject since we're both so confused right now. He said that he doesn't want a relationship right now so it's hard for me to know what to do/think right now. He also might be moving to Cali, which would probably be good for him, but that's not for sure yet. So we'll see what happens with all of that. If nothing else, I want to stay friends cause he's a great person to talk with and laugh/joke around with. So that brings me to Drew. Yeah, the one that Steve is somewhat jelous of. I was getting the feeling that I was being blown off by him cause he had hardly said two words to me since he was back in Cali. Having the track record that I do, I was quite leary. So I texted him about a week ago and was just asking him to lemme know if he still wanted to talk or not. He said that he was sorry and that he was busy with work(which I had figured) and he was leaving for Japan in a couple of days. He's only in Japan for 2 weeks this time, which is good, and said that he would call me when he got back. He still wants me to visit him out there so we'll see if that really happens or not. Why is it that you can really like two people at the same time? I hate this and just hope that it all works out, in the end, for the best.

Well, that's it for now. I'm tired, even though I napped today, so I'm gunna go fold some clothes and head to bed. First day of school tomorrow so I need my beauty sleep. :)

Whirlwinds

Since I last wrote there have been a lot of things going on, too many to even remember or write about but I'll try and get as many as I can in this entry.

Well, since my last post was about Steve's engagement, I guess I should write about what's happened with him since then. Basically, the short verision will come in this paragraph cause it's WAY too long to go into too much detail about at this point. She basically showed absolutely NO emotion what-so-ever for him....like, no hugging, kissing, hand holding, cuddling, etc. He confronted her on it and she said that she was ok the way she was and didn't want to change and would be happy living alone the rest of her life. So he wrote me this big ass email saying that he had just realized how I felt after everything he dragged me through and he felt horrible how he had trated me in the past. Then he said that he had been thinking about me and how different things could've been, had he not kept "her" on the 'bench'. Then I started to realize that I still had feelings for him, even though I had shut them off since he was engaged and there was no point for me to like a married man. We talked for a few days and we were all flirty and I thought that MAYBE, just maybe, I'd finally get him and get my "happy ending". Well, he's been on and off with her lately and he keeps believing her when she says she'll change and then the next day she changes her mind again. I just don't understand how he can put himself through it. Everyone in his life is telling him to get over it and move on and he KNOWS he should be he's trying to hang on to it. I guess it's understandable cause she's the only girl he's ever known as a girlfriend and it's hard to let go. I just wish that he could see that he'd be so much more appreciated with anyone but her. Oh well, it's his life and hope things work out for the best.....even if it is with the she-devil. I just don't know if I'll be there again to pick up the pieces if, no WHEN, it falls apart again. I know that he'll never truely be happy and that he'll be faking it if he gets married to her but that's his mistake to make. Enough about that or I'm likely to cry or something.

We went to California July 1-5 and it was quite a fun trip and my first trip out there to the west coast. The bummer thing was that Frontier lost my bag on the way out so I cried a bit cause I didn't know if I'd ever see it again but fortunately it showed up the next day and boy was I happy. We had gone to Target the first night, just incase my bag didn't show, and bought a new swimsuit and an outfit and toiletries. We went whale watching, which was quite an experience in itself. If you ever get a chance to go, one word of advice. Dramamine! TAKE IT! I swear, even if you don't get motion sickness normally you WILL need it. The water is rough and I thought I was going to pass out and/or puke the entire time out on the boat. Otherwise it was great, lol. I saw the tale a few times so that was really neat. I saw sealions, an otter and starfish while we were in CA as well. The bummer thing was that we didn't get to see Drew because he was in SoCal and we were in San Jose, San Fran and Monterey Bay so that was too far to drive to see him. We were all bummed that we weren't going to get to meet up but he's coming home soon so it's not a big deal. We did get to watch fireworks and hang out all day at Aunt Rita's so that was nice and they have a big house with a little pool so I swam a bit. We also toured this place called The Winchest Mystery House....that was so neat. 160 rooms, 950 doors, 17 chimneys, 1 shower, 13 bathrooms, etc. The house was crazy and so neat, glad we went and toured it an I bought a shot glass(since I collect them) from there with the house on it and the store behind the house written on it too.

What else to talk about.....Drew. Yeah, you remember Drew Reiplinger. I dated him when I was 15 and again when I was 16.b Anyway, he and I have been talking online and whatnot for quite a while again now and he's coming home to visit July 22-30 so I can't wait. We've talked about getting back together and all this stuff so I'm not sure how the trip with him is going to go. I had a dream that him and I got married. It was crazy, my mom and other people had planned our wedding and I started the dream like the day before the wedding. My mom hadn't planned where I was getting my hair done or what I was wearing for my veil or anything so that was weird. Then I pop into the actual ceremony and Drew has said his vows and it's now my turn but I don't know mine since mom did everything so I had to get help. It was such a weird dream. About a week lately I told Drew about the dream in an IM and I was afraid that it would scare him off since most guys my age don't like to talk about marriage or anything like that but he didn't get scared or weirded out or anything. He said that he was like relieved that I had that dream or something but wouldn't tell me why but that he'd tell me soon enough. So I dunno what that means......maybe he's thinking of proposing? maybe he's getting married and hasn't told me yet? Who knows. Guess I'll find out when he comes home.

A little bit more before I stop writing and call it good. Angel Valdez Smith. Yeah, we've been talking online for a couple of months, on and off, and it's been great. We finally started to web cam and talk on the phone. Over the course of three nights, we talked a total of about 11 hours on the phone and thats NOT including the online/web cam time. So we decided to meet up at Starbucks last sunday and see how things went. They seemed to go great, I liked him, he seemed to like me. Well, I've gotten ONE text from him since then....it's now Friday and the only reason he texted me was in response to one I wrote him. So I guess that means Erin loses out YET AGAIN! What is my issue? I don't understand how I can make this guy get "butterflies" one day and then he meets me and it seems to go well but he won't call me or anything. I have some of the shittiest luck. I mean, I know people say that but I really do. I get too attached too quickly/easily and I get screwed. Is it my weight? Personality? WHAT!?!?!?! Oh well, time to move on I guess since it's after 10 and still no word from him.

Oh yeah, Elaine's in town til Monday so that's good! Picked her up from the airport and surprised her parents, it was awesome and so much fun. She looks good and I was happy to at least get to chill with her for like 4 hours that night. Ok, gotta finish for now, write again soon!