Is everybody engaged but me!?

Steve's engaged. Yup, MY steve. "Utah Boy"......yeah.....you know the one. Anyway, I got on NX yesterday and found his member title changed and a thread started by him....his member title is "Do I hear wedding bells?" and the thread, entitled "The most important question of my life" said this:

Well it's been a long time coming, but it's finally happen to me. I've waited a very very long time for it too. But today, I asked that question. That one question that will change my life forever. I asked, "Jamie, will you marry me?" AND SHE SAID YES!!!!

For anyone who doesn't know the story... We first met when we were in 5th grade (so I think about age 10-11?). We didn't start being really good friends until age 16. Later that year when we became close we started dating. We were together for 3 and a half years after that. The best years of my life. But then when I was 20 we broke up. We were apart for 3 years. During this 3 year span we both called each other almost every week and always kept in touch. Always remembering each other. Then finally this past January we started dating again to see if we could give it another try or bury our relationship forever. Things went well and here I am today. We got an apartment yesterday and I will be moving in next month. We will be getting married in September. And honestly people, I've never been happier in my life. And I just wanna add a big thanks to my very close friends here who have helped me these past years, Tazzy, Bobbi, Vampira, ChaosMonroe, and Hexus.

So I'll keep you guys posted and I will definatly post pictures when I get them. I'll try to get a pic of the ring tomorrow and post it. But for now, here is a pic of my beautiful fiance! (thanks Zorbo for helping me out with the pic) And don't mind my messy room in the background

So needless to say I am quite happy for him but it's hard for me to grasp just because I was so in love with him, as you can read from some of my previous posts in this blog. My response to that thread was this:

That is such awesome news Steve! I am so proud of you and happy that you're finally getting your happy ending, I've always wanted that for you! You were like my best friend for a long time and I always told Heather that I wanted you to be happy cause I always knew that you were longing to be and now you finally are. I hope that everything works out for you, you two deserve the world and now you have it! I'm glad you finally posted a pic of Jamie cause I've always wanted to see her, she's a cutie! Don't be a stranger! hehe

So that's it. I cried quite a bit, not because I'm sad that he's getting married but sad at the fact that I want to be in love and cared about as much as those two carea bout and love eachother. I just hope that I will find that love someday and be engaged and then married. I want that so much. I still have those two sites bookmarked, you know, the ones with the wedding rings I like. I went and looked at them again and fatasized, hehe. Now I just need the guy.

I did call Darius earlier and left a message since he didn't answer his cell(shocker, I know!) and just basically said that I know he knows that I like him and if he thinks that we could be together then lemme know and if not to lemme know, and that either way there would be no hard feelings. I just hope he calls me back tonight cause I really want to know if I need to start moving on or not, ya know? It's hard to wait for someone that you really like, only to have them decide that they don't want to be with you and you've wasted all this time and possibly lost other opportunities. Not that I have guys beating down my door but you know, sometimes you have someone who is interested and it's nice to at least give them a chance. And on that note, I'm going to get back to my....

WAIT! I forgot to write about this. This past Wednesday I had that speech competition....I was really nervous but I ended up getting third place out of eleven speakers so I was pretty excited! (and a bit surprised) Each speaker got a nice little prize pack and it was quite fun but I'm WAY glad that it's over! hehe.

Speech anxiety & Dream interpretation

I'm in speech competition in three days and I'm quite nervous. I gave a persuasive speech about breast implants and was chosen, by my classmates, to go to the school-wide speech competition. I'm practicing it tonight and it's kicking my butt. I keep tripping over my words...I just hope I don't have this much problem tomorrow and wednesday when I have to do them in public.

Onto nicer thoughts....Darius. Well, he's still in the picture and even more so now because of the past weeks updates. Laura told me that she talked to him about me this week. He said that he does like me and that I'm "girlfriend material" and he's starting to re-evaluate his love of CiruictCity. Basically what that means is that he's hopefully going to give me another date and maybe we'll finally get to be a couple? He said that he's afraid that he won't have enough time for me but if anyone isn't going to have the time, it's going to be me. Darn right I'd make time though, I really REALLY like him. Laura's birthday is this Tuesday and a bunch of us are going out so we're going to see how that goes and go from there(Darius and I). I've also had a few dreams about him lately and I'm going to write one out cause it's funny and I want to remember it always.
The Dream: It started out on a cruise ship. Me and a bunch of my friends(no family, just friends) are on a cruise ship and a big storm rolls in. The storm was bad, like in the movie "The Perfect Storm". Anyway, I'm chosen to live and I can take four friends with me but the rest are going to go down with the ship(yes,like Titanic). I, of course, choose Darius cause he's my boyfriend in the dream. I choose Elaine and two other cuban children(not sure where they come into play but that's who I chose). No one else, from real life, is there so it's not like I'm just leaving Lauren and Angela and whoever, they just weren't there. Anyway, the "water taxi" comes and picks us up but leaves before Elaine can get her stuff and jump on. I freak out cause the guy drove away without Elaine so we go back but we're too late and see the ship completely sink and a bubble pops showing that there's nothing left of the ship. I'm crying and we get to the island. Darius and I are now the only ones around and he's got his arm around me and his hoody is shielding us from the rain/wind from the scary story. Not sure where the other people went to but they're no where to be seen and Darius and I are just sitting on the deserted island beach. Then we climb up the hill, after the rain goes away, and look out(like Tom Hanks' character in 'Cast Away') and we see a person off in the distance, walking towards us. We go to see who it is and it's Elaine. She said that she tried to jump into the "water taxi" as it was driving away and she fell into the ocean. She apparently outswam tghe storm and sharks and made it to the island(which was probably a mile from the ship before it sank. She had hair like Don King, it was all froed since it was wet but I was glad that she made it safely. Then I woke up.

Mom thinks that the reason that Darius and Elaine were there is because they're very influential people in my life and I admire them. She cracked up about Elaine outswimming sharks and the storm, which is quite funny when you think about it. But yeah, I've had some weird ass dreams lately and most have had Darius in them, go figure. I swear, I could marry that guy someday, he's just great. He stares at me at work a lot and it's not just me think this in my head. Alex threw something at my the other day and Darius saw him do it and gave him a mean look. I really think(and hope that I'm right on this) that Darius likes me and wants to be with me but is just scared. Laura told him that I'm not going to wait forever so hopefully he gets off his butt and steps up to the plate and asks me to be his girlfriend. *crosses fingers*

Well, I've procrastinated enough, I need to start my history homework. Since we're going out on Tuesday, I need to get ahead on my homework that is due Wednesday.